I Dont Even Know What To Think
I had a panic attack when we were running the show today. I was moving the boat across the stage during Down Once More and I stopped breathing and lost feeling in my hands. I ran off stage once I got Phantom and Christine across and splash water all over my face. I was getting ready for the final scene and I started crying and I didnt know why. I ran back and splashed my face with water more. One of my best friends is working costumes, she saw me and knew something was wrong and she got out ASM to tell our Production Manager, he and our choreographer came out and calmed me down and talked through what happened. I dont even know what to do with myself though. I had a panic attack not only in front of people who I’ve been trying to hide this side of myself from but during a run. Now I’m embarrassed to see my cast again tomorrow and I’m going to be worrying about my anxiety during every show. I am so tired and scared and upset.
